The Moment I Gave Up Trying

It was a Sunday,
I think

There were just too many
loose ends chanting me
down, accosting me
like beggars

encircling me

I felt like a clown
in one of those
Fellini movies -

out of place

a somewhat
surreal presence
in my own life

There I sat,
head in hand

as if looking
out over a
precipice

"That's it!
I Give Up!"

A funny five
words, don't
you think?

Not much on
their own

Like the gesture
a demolitionist
uses to cue
the explosives

The bottom
floors were
first to go...

the daily
to-do's,
impending
emergencies,
the way my hair
looked

then, the
bigger things -

like
loyalty,
sense of place,
purpose, direction,
security

sense of self

Yep, that's the one...

"sense of self"

everything got
real quiet after that.

then,

the distant
flapping of wings